Trying, trying, trying

Trying to keep the broken crayon population to a minimum....

I have to say my lousy picture taking skills don't nearly do them justice... They turned out beautifully!

Another batch.. just as nice.. but I was a bit over-zealous getting them into the freezer and did so before they were set.  I think DS may like the broken one even more because it's pointer than the rest.  I'm wishing I had held out and kept trying to find a star-mold because there are more easy to use points on them.. but the hearts are cute and my cutey likes them!

My little one trying out the new doggie bed with his best friend Lo-Lo the bunny puppet.  I just managed to click this shot before he moved Lo-Lo to block his entire face!  We watched an episode of Dogtown on Netflix this evening and it really broke my heart... Come on come on dog rescue.. call me in the morning.  We have a loving family just waiting for a furry little baby to love...

I've really been feeling the need for tea lately.  My mom must have known and brought this along as a birthday present for me.  It is NOT the decaffeinated one.. no wonder I've been feeling so good after drinking it!  However, that may also be the reason I couldn't get back to sleep last night after DS's wakefull eczema scratch fest.. I was wide awake from 1AM-6AM.  By some miracle DS decided to sleep until 11AM!!!  I don't believe that has EVER happened.  Of course DH is feeling under the weather and I have been feeling some pre-cold symptoms that I've been trying to blame on "dry air".. maybe all 3 of us are about to embark on our first North Carolina cold!

Some candle making commenced this week.  Left over unburnt pieces from candles were melted down into almost full votive size.  Local (to where I was living in PA) beeswax on the left (brownish/yellowy color) and some cinnamon Christmas candle(red on right) wax that my mom gave to me.  At some point the wicks drowned so she gave me the tin (the candles are sitting on the lid to this tin)and all to upcycle.  I've already managed to burn down these candles.. of course I still somehow managed to have some wax left over.. it smells way too nice to just toss in the trash so the next votive will be a mix of the two.  I'm sure I'm somehow doing something against the rules.. heck maybe I'm polluting my house while obsessively burning all my excess wax drippings.  I will have to do a little research on that.  I try to avoid artificial fragrances because of the damage they do to your body.. I'd hate to find out my waste-not-want-not-ing is actually hurting us.  Speaking of waste not want not.. like the crystal bowl? One of my favorite thrift store finds.. it's good quality crystal that I found for under a dollar! 

My mom brought something else naughty along aside from wax and tea to keep me busy.  She also brought me a giant bag of yarn, what is left over from her last bout of crocheting addiction before she went back to work when I was little.  She also gave me an extra crochet hook she had and taught me how to do some crocheting.  I have to admit I'm not very good.  The uneven "thing" above is my first rows.. the below less uneven, bumpy thing with the crochet hook popping out is my first project.  DH made his first handmade request.. He wants a blanket that is big enough for our bed....  I don't think he has ANY clue how much work that is and what a massive undertaking that is for someone who has been crocheting less than 4 days!  He never asks me to make him anything.. so I'm on it!  I was stunned to find two skeins of yarn didn't last much more than 5 rows! 

HOLY CRAP BATMAN! I only have so much time in a day to sneak in some crocheting.  At this rate I might be done by Christmas 2020.  This project of projects did lead to an awfully wonderful evening though.  Finding out that there is no way the 5 or so skeins of white yarn were going to make a blanket big enough for our bed I decided a trip to A.C.Moore was in order.  Because it is "his" blanket I made DH go along.  He agreed to the cheapest option which happened to be light blue and white.  He didn't realize until we were on our way home that it is the colors of his school's RIVALS!  He did origionally ask for white and red but I told him the red would bleed and it would be come pink and red.  We choose cream at first when we got to the store but then did the math and realized the light blue was the cheaper option.  I *did* have a nice (cheap) set of crochet hooks in my basket to use my 40% off coupon on.. but then we walked by the Thomas train set that was meant for children to play with in the store and DS was bullied a bit by an UNATTENDED little boy not much older than him when he tried to play.  I think the unattended part bothers me more than the bullying part.  Anyway, that just made me turn around, put the hooks back and I picked out Toby the train who came out to be just a little over $5 after the coupon.  DS plays with his little wooden Thomas trains that have magnets attached to them for hours every day.  He likes to ask me about the other trains he has seen on the movie.  His favorites to ask for are Gordon, Henry and Toby, so when I saw them and saw how calmly he reacted to the bratty little munchkin in the store I decided my gift card would be better spent on my little man. 


Considering a new toy was directly followed by pizza across the street, DS was a very happy little boy!  We rarely eat out since we really can't afford to, but a great coupon and some birthday money made tonight a really special night for DS and I.  I can't say for sure but I think DH enjoyed himself too.. it was hard to tell with all the whining about how he was getting sick.  Men are such babies!

Feeling Crushed...

We just completed our home visit/inspection with the dog we were hoping to adopt and it did not end well.  Heck, it didn't even start well.  The poor dog snarled and snapped at us and didn't know what to make of our son.  His foster mom said she's not sure he's even ever seen a child before.  Through the visit the dog warmed up a little bit to DH and I but became more and more nervous of our son, leaping up to growl and snap at him every time he tried to come up to say hello.  DS didn't even try to touch him, just fed him treats and offered him a ball.  The dog's foster mother said that DS is very, very good with the pup but he just isn't a good match.  I can't help but feeling absolutley crushed by this.  Stupid as it sounds I was looking forward to having a new remember of the family to take care of and fuss over.  I know another child isn't in our future as much as I want there to be and it's become painful seeing facebook updates from acquaintances back home saying they're expecting a new baby... This new dog *was* my new baby.

I filled out yet another application for yet another dog rescue and am left to wait again and go through this all yet again.  I somehow highly doubt that this one will work out either.  Who wants to allow the adoption of a dog to a family in a third floor apartment complex with no fenced in area for them to run and has a child under the age of 3?  It doesn't matter how well we would care for the dog or how much we would love them... all that matters is how we look on paper.  I am afraid that if the second attempt at adoption doesn't work out I will be forced to give up.  I can't stand the feeling of heartbreak.. I fall in love with a dog the moment I see them and am ready to love them into and through their old age and long after they're gone...

Bumps Along The Way

This past weekend my parents and their pups came to visit for the first time since we moved down here (what 20 days ago??)  As happy as I was to have them visit I was just as happy to see them go.  I love them but we get along much better when we aren't living together!  My mother and I did some shopping nearly all of which she insisted on paying for.  She purchased her new "granddog's" (who we hope to join us later this week) bed and water dish as well as groceries, homemade jam from our farmer's market, as well as a bunch of other things that I tried to convince her we didn't "really" need.  As much as I appreciate her wanting to help us, I hate that I feel constantly indebted to her for everything.  I try to tell her if we can't afford something then it's just not a priority. We can afford anything that we truly "need". 

(The GIANT bump) In Nov my mother purchased an ADORABLE table and chairs set of my choice for my son.  Knowing that we were to move in less than 2 months we left the table and chairs set in their box from the manufacturer and made sure to keep it safe until the move.  We made sure it was safely packed and moved it into our apartment immediately and put it aside to keep it safe from being beaten up until all the furniture was placed and there was room to assemble it..  Well yesterday morning I opened the box and oou'd and ahh'd at the adorable pieces... and then I opened the box with in the box that held the table top and my heart broke..... The entire tabletop is destroyed.  It really looks like the damage was done before it was put into the packaging but I have no way of proving that.  With the time that has passed (over 2 months) I feel like there is so little hope of having it replaced for free by the company that sold it or by the manufacturer... but I am in the midst of drafting an email to send to them.  Ohhh how I hope they will replace the table top.  I rarely ask for anything.. especially anything new.. but my mother offered to buy him a table and chairs set for a Christmas/birthday gift and this one just stole my heart.  I just cannot shake this feeling that I'm going to be told I"m SOL and that I should have opened the package and checked it as soon as it arrived...  I really thought I was doing the right thing leaving it "safe" in its box..  Please let the manufacturer stand behind its product and just apologize for a "lemon" and replace the table top. 

(The other massive bump)  DH decided that the job he just took a few days before was not going to work out.  We didn't even have the opportunity to stock up on things we buy only from that store (plus groceries and clothing) with his 15% employee discount..  So now we are again a family of 3 with no income and it makes me feel beside myself.  Yes, while people starve and die from disease, I'm concerned about how nice my son's bedroom looks and whether or not we have an extra 15% off our grocery bill.  I *try* to convince myself we can make this work while my husband finishes his degree but I'm so incredibly filled with doubt.  I don't know what to do with myself.  To get a job myself I would have to give up sleeping.  My husband's schedule is so crazy with school and his studies he cannot be responsible for our son... that is why I quit my job a little over a year ago. 

To get a full time job I would have to put my son into daycare, which just is not an option.  I tried to nanny another family's child and that did not last, not to mention it has put fear of ever trying it again into my mind.  I could put some of my things on craigslist/ebay but I just don't have nice things that anyone would really want.  My clothes are worn and stained, my dishes scratched and chipped, my furniture beaten from the 4 moves in 4 years. Things that I don't think I will use I donate and hate the thought of stopping that practice.  I feel much better knowing clothing that doesn't fit is going to someone who needs it than to making a few dollars at a yard sale.  I keep thinking about putting some of my home-made crafts onto etsy but I fear I will make something too close to something someone else has made and get into trouble for "stealing" their ideas.  I've been learning how to knit and crochet but the yarn I have is old and not the best quality.  I had been hoping to make baby and child hats and clothing lined with perhaps something like fleece and donate them. 

I suppose I should busy myself with some of these ideas to plow through my yarn stash so that I have room for a few nice skeins to make things worth buying.  Perhaps in stead of worrying about using my scrapbooking supplies for a scrapbook for pictures I don't want to spend money on printing I could make home-made cards to sell. Of course am I even going to make back the money I spent on the supplies if I sell them at a reasonable price that someone would be willing to spend?  I suppose if I can't sell them I can always use them, right? 

This would be a horrible time to mention I've been wishing for a whole different kind of "bump"... the kind that results in a new baby.  The past six months I've found myself feeling physically and emotionally ready to expand our family.  I found myself at peace with the traumatic birth of our first child and stopped taking blame for the birth not going as I had hoped and was comforted with the healthy baby boy it resulted in.  DH wants to hear nothing of the thoughts of another child right now, and for good reason having no income and living off of our savings.  Of course this readiness for another child myself comes from a much deeper place than just my consciousness that understands what makes the most financial sense.  My body was ready before my brain was.  I found myself experiencing many symptoms of a hysterical pregnancy.  Having not had a milk supply in going on a year I was absolutely shocked to find myself leaking every time I saw a baby or even did so much as think about a baby. 

We are in the midst of trying to adopt a dog... my husband's idea of meeting me half way on the idea of a new baby I suppose.  Someone new to love and take care of, not to mention someone to drag me out of the house to exercise.  I JUST refreshed my email to find out that our home inspection will be Thurs afternoon.. which I hope to result in the pup being placed with us.  I'm so happy to find a dog rescue that is SO concerned with how their dogs are placed.  If only all animals had such wonderful chances at finding loving homes. 

Finding Inspiration

Having just moved 8 hours from our last home I am truly seeing how much crafting "stuff" I really have and am feeling kind of sad about it!  I have so much inspiration (from magazines, books and even worse online crafting blogs!!) but not time or emotional energy to really jump head first into a project.  Of course part of my problem is all my "great" ideas cost a lot to get started.  I finally found myself some crafty friends (who were also moms) that I could share supplies with and then moved a few hundred miles away from them!  What was I thinking?!?  

Well I suppose what I was thinking is obvious... "Support the one who supports you."  Long story short my Einstein husband is finishing his degree here which will take a minimum of 3-5 years and here is where best education for the least money out of pocket was.  So with less than 5 weeks notice I packed my son, husband and I up and we moved ourselves into what feels like a new world.  Our new world of upscale stores, friendly people and roads with barely any traffic.  I wish I could say that this new world includes my husband being at home with us a few hours every day but starting tonight it goes back to the normal.  DH managed to snag a part time over night job and has his paid orientation there this evening added to the more than full course load at his university. 

DH leaves early in the morning, normally before our little guy wakes up and before I can manage to drag my very tired mommy behind out of bed.  Most nights I expect him to come home from school, eat and go directly to bed so he can re-awake in a few hours to head to work.  Before moving to our "new world" two weeks ago DH left before we awoke and returned sometimes after the little one was in bed for the night.  Considering our little night owl rarely goes to sleep before 11PM that is saying something.  I worry about DH being drained and over-worked.  I feel over-worked from doing everything on my own all day every day but a bit on the useless side just because I am not a source of income for the Kiwi Circus.  And of course with a little one things are never nearly as neat and tidy as one hopes.  Tiny fingers leave grimy marks everywhere they go and get into things they shouldn't leaving crumbs and debris everywhere.  Seriously, I could vacuum 6 or 7 times a day and STILL not have a crumb free carpet. The daily upkeep and lack of sleep and contact with other adults make me feel like I need therapy.  Not psycho-therapy.. CRAFT THERAPY!

So why have I told you all of this?  Who cares?  Well, I hope to use this blog to air some of my crafting addiction.  I know there are many others out there who share my passion for all things hand made!  I also feel like keeping a blog of my goals and accomplishments will keep me honest and working to meet my goals instead of allowing my affliction of acute procrastination to take over.  

Since I didn't make a New Years Resolution I figure I should make a goal for not just this year but for perhaps weeks and months at a time.  From silly simple things such as keeping our broken crayons under control to learning new crafts to weight loss goals.