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| Wild Flowers Picked By Tiny hands | | | |
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| DS's First Time Making Spinach Lasagna |
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| Silly Faces From A Very Proud Little Boy |
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| Finished Lasagna |
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| My First Attempt At Banana Bread In A Very Long Time |
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I could write for hours about the drama that has leeched its way into my life right now.. and I probably have in the past. Writing has always been my way of getting the pent up frustration OUT. Not this time though. This time it's too painful to think about and I'd rather just concentrate on the happiness in my life.
My apartment is a disaster (This isn't necessarily a bad thing right? It means we're just having too much fun).... but it was even more of a disaster yesterday when I took the lasagna making pictures. Thankfully my little guy was happy to stand at the counter on the step stool eating a snack while I accomplished much more than he would normally "allow". I am in love with so many things in this stage of his development. Of course there are still temper tantrums and 2-3 year old stubborn-ness.... but there are also so many more things that he is eager to experience and that I am MORE than happy to experience with him. I haven't really let him help me with large activities in the kitchen until now. I didn't feel like he listened well enough to not be playing with an electrical outlet or a sharp knife the moment I turned my back. I still have a little bit of fear of that happening but he listens so much better to me now.... now my biggest problem is "No, sweet heart we really DO have enough spice in what we're making" I thought for sure he had thrown a few extra pinches (more like handfuls) of pepper, salt and garlic into the lasagna when I went to wash my hands from the raw eggs... but it tasted just fine!
We yet again "lucked out" with the horrible storms plaguing the south. Nearly 200 (at last my last viewing of the news) people perished from the latest string of tornadoes. Having had the last one come so uncomfortably close... to the point of nearly getting caught in it (we had been in one of the areas worst hit less than an hour before it went through) I did not sleep much Wed night. Our son fell asleep on our couch and I knew with as hot as it would be in our bed where he normally winds up that I would just leave him there. However, I couldn't leave him there alone with what I had seen on the news that was headed our way. The least of my worries is how many toys are strewn through my home. Seriously, who cares about those sticky finger prints on the the front of the stove other than me?
I'm making an active effort to not let myself stress over the future.. who is promising me that there is one? Yes, we may be moving yet again in a year and a half from now but there's no point of stressing over it. All I can do is just continue the simplifying of our lives and continue passing things on to people who really need things I can easily live with out.
I'd much rather fill my life with enjoyment than worry.. My life has been filled with fear and worry for far too long. If I want to experiment with a recipe I find that we just happen to have the ingredients for.. that's what I should do. I find myself always sticking to the same recipes that I just know by heart because I'm too afraid to make a mistake and waste any food. Even my husband tries to stop me from experimenting.. but he didn't complain AFTER he tasted the banana bread I made that he swore he wouldn't like. Instead of constantly beating myself up over not being the *best* baker, cook, knitter, crocheter.. I just TRY.. such a concept right? Well it is for me.... I've been so afraid of wasting the yarn I bought I've hesitated to work with anything other than scraps or yarn that my mother found me at a thrift store (several skeins and left over pieces of crewel yarn for 50 cents is kind of worth a shot in my book.) Instead of stressing over the fact that I'm not perfect and blaming myself for every mess made in this home I seriously NEED to take time to sit down and craft.. or contemplate lesson plans or activity for my little one to enjoy. I may not get a shot at being a mom again.. I'd rather live in a messy home than miss out on experiences with him.
Here's where I have to say, you can't "waste" yarn! : ) If you don't like the way something turns out, you can always rip it out and reuse the yarn for something else.
ReplyDeleteI let my house get cluttered and every few days I tidy it back up. It's better than spending all day cleaning; I think that's what I'd have to do to keep this place clean. I also realized that most of the messes are caued by me. lol
Wow, I just wrote a big long response and it managed to get deleted.
ReplyDeleteYarn- I know I can't "waste it" but it feels wasted when it gets all fuzzy or I use it for a teeny project like a flower and it's not worth ripping out. Acrylic yarn kind of sucks... but it's what I have right now and I plan to use it up!
Messes- That *tends* to be what I do cleaning up wise.. but my husband has given me a serious complex about it. I'm seriously OCD about the way I like certain things so when I start something I tend to want to finish it out perfectly before I move on and that's not always possible when you have 3 hyper active little maniacs racing around you knocking over lamps, breaking things, spilling things, barking, yelling (well my little guy is the only one who yells but he also barks...) My husband was #6 out of 7 children and his neat freak mother always chose cleaning over sleeping so her home was always perfect... He grew up having everything done for him and he doesn't have the appreciation of what it takes to make things look as good as I make them look. He is slowly starting to get the grasp of what I tell him as he is now home more often... if only to sleep.
Because of the dogs I already pick up anything and everything I think is chewable at night after DS conks out. I've been trying to turn that into a nightly ritual that extends to every room of the apartment.. even the ones that have doors shut... but sometimes I can't manage to keep myself awake that long! When it hits 1 or 2 AM and I know my husband will be up in 3 hours and will wake me up no matter how quiet he *tries* to be... I have to give up until the next day!